what's the point of small group?

I've been wrestling with this question: Am I in a small group because I want to grow my faith? Or, Am I in a small group because it's the 'right thing' for a Christian--a member of NewPointe--to do?

The reason I've been asking it is because I just get the sense that often times we 'go through the motions' when it comes to group. I think there are people who do small groups because they don't want to be labeled as not participating in small group life. It's such a part of how we do church at NewPointe that I just get the feeling sometimes that there are some of us who are just going through the motions.

I think one clue that helps tell if group participants are in it for the right reasons is in the discussion that happens during Bible study time at a group. I mean, have you ever been in a group where one or more of the group members feels like they have to chime in on everything. It's almost like they want the rest of the group to know how well-versed they are in whatever it is you're talking about. I've also been in groups where someone shares something in an attempt to make themselves appear vulnerable and transparent but it's not because they truly are vulnerable and transparent, they just want everyone to think they're vulnerable and transparent.

Man, I'd love it if our small groups would all just "get real" with each other. What would happen if we were honest about where we are in live? What if we shared our fears, our shortcomings, our failures, our dreams, and the sins that we struggle with? What would happen? What if we were serious about holding each other accountable? What if we were more interested in growing our faith, even if it costs us our repuation? What if all of us did group life for the right reasons?

Most small groups I know of never really get down to the nitty-gritty of what’s going on inside the heart. Most groups do a study, throw out some good ideas, one or two members offer a "safe" confession (stuff like, "I haven’t spend as much time in God’s Word this week as I should.") and then we leave, feeling good because we've 'been to group.' But we rarely have an action plan for how we’re going to live differently because of what was just discussed—we rarely address the real issues, heart issues. We'd just rather leave there feeling good about ourselves because we discussed spiritual issues. Hey, I went to group...and I'm deeply passionate about the topic we discussed...I know a lot about it...and I got to talk about it...so I feel good. I'm spiritual. I've been to group.

At the end of group we pray for each other that we’ll "do better" but we really don’t care all that much.

Here are some practical ways you can help your group move beyond this:

-Close the group for a season. Authentic community is difficult to achieve if the group is always open to anyone.
-If you’re in a couples group, during prayer and sharing time, split up the men and the women (men in one room, women in another). More things and deeper issues tend to get addressed with this approach.
-Be intentional about the curriculum you choose. Find studies that address real-life issues. A great resource is www.groupcurriculum.org.
-Spend time together outside of group time.

For more information on how this works at my church, NewPointe Community Church, visit www.smallgroupleaders.com.