I had the privilege of sharing this story twice this week. On consecutive days (both, strangely, at lunch meetings at Bob Evans).
It's the story of my REAL conversion. I grew up in church. I "asked Jesus into my heart" at a young age (around 5, I think). I was generally a good boy. Grew up in the church (my dad was a Nazarene pastor). For the most part, I did all the stuff that was expected of me. Never got in too much trouble. Never disobeyed too badly. And all the while, I was able to hone skills that made me really good at faking stuff. So many years in church and around church people enabled me to understand what what expected of me and I became good at doing exactly what needed to be done in order to live up to those expectations.
Then I went to college--a Christian college, in fact. And there, while on my own, I began a journey that was leading me further and further away from God. But I still knew how to play the game (still do, in fact). Still knew what I needed to do in order to impress people and make them think I was a "good Christian kid."
I married Jenny right after college and began a career in the newspaper business in Pennsylvania. We attended church every Sunday. I even taught the junior high Sunday school class. But the truth is, I was just going through the motions. It took no time at all for me to be more interested in climbing the corporate ladder than having a relationship with my Heavenly Father.
After a couple years my newspaper company promoted me. Jenny and moved to Zanesville, Ohio. And I kept climbing that corporate ladder. Status and stuff became more important to me than people and faith. But we still attended church. That's what "good" people do, right?
While in Z-ville, we crashed hard. Train-wreck type stuff. But somehow, strangely, I had this sense that God was still at work in my life. Like...he hadn't written me off.
In the meantime, I kept climbing that ladder. And after a few years the Columbus Dispatch came calling. They wanted to know if I'd be interested in managing their classified advertising sales staff. Jenny and I viewed it as a great opportunity. So we made the move. But I'm convinced that God was still at work.
A friend told me about a church in the Columbus area that he thought we should check out (this is some of the God-at-work part). So we took the advice and visited Grove City Church of the Nazarene during one of our weekend house-hunting visits.
We loved the church. And, amazingly, decided to look for a house in Grove City so we could be near the church.
We moved and began attending GCCN regularly. We felt God's presence there. We felt like we heard from him there. And then one night, during a revival service (I know revivals are unusual these days, but 14 years ago or so, GCCN was still having them), I really felt God speak to me. And I remember what he said.
It wasn't audible but it was something like this: "John, are you ready to stop playing games with me?"
Tears streaming down my face, I went forward and kneeled at the altar and prayed and prayed and prayed. I told God I was sorry for the way I'd been treating him. I told him I was sorry for the way I'd been living. I asked him to forgive me. I told him that I was done playing games and that I was really to surrender fully to him.
I cried like a baby. Jenny prayed with me. Together, we just gave it all to God and asked him to take full control of our lives.
And he did. Neither of us will ever forget that night in Grove City when God showed up in an unbelievable way. It literally changed the direction of our lives. And my life has been different--in the best possible way--ever since.
Jenny and I began a journey together with God that I'll continue to share in future posts. To be continued...