illusory superiority

Illusory superiority is this crazy little thing that goes on in our brains that cause us to overestimate our positive qualities and abilities and to underestimate our negative qualities, relative to others.

For instance, a study was done in 1986 asking almost 200 participants to rate their driving skills. The study found that almost 80% of participants had evaluated themselves as being above the average driver. Mathematically, 80% of us cannot be above average at anything.

I know this is true for me. I have a tendency to think that in many areas, there’s nobody that can do a job better than me. I definitely think I’m a waaay better driver than most people. Most people, of course, don’t have a clue about how to run a business, raise a family, or pick a restaurant. Just ask me about that stuff, I’m an expert, right?

How about when it comes to the difficult people in our lives? Isn’t it true that you and I are the only “normal” ones and that it’s always everyone else who has the real issues? I mean, good grief, if everybody was as good a driver as I am, there’d never be a traffic jam or an accident. But wait…I have been known to fire off a quick text while driving. Sometimes I’m lazy and “forget” to use my turn signal. And speed limits? Aren’t those specifically for the “below average” drivers?

Or could it be that I’ve been stricken with a case of illusory superiority.

At NewPointe Church, we’re in a message series right now that’s helping us learn how to deal with the difficult people in our lives. After all, it’s everyone else who’s difficult so I’m just going to have to learn to cope. Or, do I need to consider that pesky little illusory superiority thing more carefully?

Yeah, I guess I can be difficult, too. What might happen if I approached this  message series looking through this lens: Wow, what I’m some (or most) of the problem is me?

Maybe this Sunday instead of elbowing the people that I think need to hear it or thinking of the people I wish would get their acts together, what if I focus on me? What do I need to hear? What do I need to apply? What does God have to say to me…and the other 80% of the people in the room who are way more “normal” than average.

See you Sunday!

But those who exalt themselves will be humbled, and those who humble themselves will be exalted. Matthew 23:12

married life live is back!

Love me some Married Life Live. What is MLL?, you ask. MLL is basically a date-night for you and your spouse. It’s an incredibly fun night out—with a purpose. Not only will you have a blast and eat well, but you’ll leave MLL with a little better perspective on your marriage.

At each MLL, we highlight a “marriage essential”—something that’s, well, essential to having making your marriage all it was meant to be. At the upcoming MLL, the essential we’re hitting is: HURRY HOME. We believe that in strong marriages, couples value time with each other above other things that compete for our attention.

NEW IN 2011: MLL comes to Canton! Yes, this time around, MLL is also available at the NewPointe Canton Campus.

Canton: Friday, Oct. 14, 7:00 – 9:00 p.m.

Dover: Saturday, Oct. 15, 6:00 –8:00 p.m

To purchase your tickets click here: Married Life Live

4 Easy Steps to Wreck Your Marriage

Sunday afternoon we had a lot of fun shooting photos and videos for the next NewPointe message series: Four Easy Steps to Wreck Your Marriage.

The whole process starts in a “series branding meeting.” This happens after Dwight has given us the topic and some key information about his next series. The branding team starts throwing ideas up on whiteboards. We start to hone in on an idea that we all like and then we make plans from there.

Series artwork and supporting videos start getting worked on next. Here’s a shot of part of the storyboard Andrew Sale drew up:

From there, we pull everything together for a shoot. By the way, thanks to everyone who showed up to be “extras” at the video shoot Sunday. Couldn’t have done it without you!

Now, I don’t want to reveal too much about what you’re going to see when the next series begins in mid-October. But I couldn’t resist taking a couple videos of our bride just prior to the shoot.

Perhaps you can connect the dots.

Next it’s on to video editing, photoshopping, etc. More fun stuff to come…

sunday’s scuds (september 18, 2011)

Last Sunday brought us the beginning of a new series at NewPointe: Dealing with Difficult People. Fortunately I don’t have any difficult people in my life so the message didn’t really apply to me (yeah right).

I took good notes. Dwight fired many-a-scud. Here’s what I wrote down:

• The quality of your life is determined by the quality of your relationships.
• The reason certain things about others irritate you is likely because there’s some of that irritating thing in you.
• We’re more aware of other people’s words and actions than we are of our own words and actions.
• We can thank ourselves for the majority of the problems we have in life.
• I can’t change other people. All I can do is change myself.
• If you don’t see yourself correctly, you won’t see other people correctly.
• Humility is what allows you to turn your critics into coaches.
• Competition kills relationships.

So in everything, do to others what you would have others do to you, for this sums up the Law and the Prophets. Matthew 7:12

new series starts sunday: dealing with difficult people

A brand new message series starts Sunday at all three NPCC campuses. Here’s a teaser video:

 

We had a lot of fun at a photo/video shoot for this series. This video is just the tip of the iceberg. Did you see anyone you know in that video? Just for fun, how many people can you identify? How many people who share my last name can you identify?

Here’s a little more about the series:

We all know them. We live with them. We work with them. We try to tolerate them. And we try to avoid them: difficult people. These are the people who make us wonder if this is who Jesus had in mind when he told us to love our neighbors as ourselves.

Join us for "Dealing With Difficult People", a series for "normal" people who need help figuring out what to do with the "difficult" people who drive us all crazy every day.

See you Sunday!

sunday’s scuds (september 11, 2011)

Sunday was a special day at all NewPointe campuses as we remembered 9-11. Dwight gave us an unbelievable message with principles to live by during the 9-11 moments we encounter in life. Here are the scuds as I saw ‘em:

• Since 9-11, we’ve all had our own 9-11 moments in life.
• The greatest act of terrorism occurred thousands of years ago when mankind was deceived, believed a lie, and began a downward spiral.
• We’ve been plagued with fear ever since that moment.
• When you experience your own 9-11 moments you must:
• We all have the power to decide how a 9-11 moment will affect us.
• It’s impossible to be happy and bitter at the same time.
• There is no correlation between your experiences and your level of joy.
• You are as joyful as you choose to be.
• Key to joy: focus on what remains not on what’s been lost.
• It’s impossible to be grateful and depressed at the same time.
• Ten years ago we found out that we had a lot more in common than we had different.
• The greatest things in life are not things.

We were really crushed and overwhelmed, and feared we would never live through it…we saw how powerless we were to help ourselves; but that was good, for then we put everything into the hands of God, who alone could save us…And he did help us and save us…and we expect him to do it again and again. 2 Cor. 1:9-10 TLB

• Unfortunately, after 9-11 moments we tend to return to life as usual.
• Where is the safest place in the world? Being in fellowship with God.
• Action point: resolve to stay close to God.

focus on where you want to go

I was riding my motorcycle the other day and I started thinking about when I first learned how to ride. My first time on a bike was only about six years ago. I’ve come a long way.

I was thinking back to how, when I first learned to ride, I struggled with making wide turns after coming to a stop. It seems as though it would be easy to make a sharp turn with a bike but it’s really not—not at first anyway. I used to go left of center with my turns quite often. The problem was that I was looking at those yellow lines—or the curb. I was focused on the very thing I wanted to avoid. And when I focused on the thing I was trying to avoid, I would hit it. It seems a bit counter-intuitive, I know. It seems as though you’d want to “watch out” for that obstacle. It wasn’t until I learned to think differently while riding that I was able to conquer the sharp turns.

The key, as you have probably already guessed, was when I began to focus on where I wanted to go instead of what I wanted to avoid. I literally had to train myself to turn my head toward the place I wanted my bike to go. And it made all the difference.

It’s not like the obstacle is no longer there. It’s just that when my focus changed, the results changed.

The same is true in life. Once we stop focusing on the obstacles, and instead look toward the goal, the obstacles diminish greatly. Turn your head in the direction of where you want to go rather than what you want to avoid.

…I focus on this one thing: Forgetting the past and looking forward to what lies ahead, I press on to reach the end of the race and receive the heavenly prize for which God, through Christ Jesus, is calling us. (Phil. 3:13-14 NLT)