tough love and hard lessons

My buddy Brian sent me a link to a newspaper article about a future Buckeye hoops player, Jared Sullinger. Here's the gist of the story:

Sullinger is one of the top players in the nation. His team was storming toward a state title. His coach (who is also his father) suspended Sullinger for one game for failing to keep up with his schoolwork. Sullinger's team lost...a game that they no doubt would have won had Sullinger played.

Here's a quote from the story:

His absence mattered, but it wasn't what mattered most to his coach and father, Satch Sullinger, whose decision to suspend his 15-year-old son offers food for thought.

Sullinger said he sat his son to send multiple messages:

• Effort is more important than achievement.

"You can't be successful when your assignments are not turned in, when you say you're doing your homework and you're not," he said, referring to Jared.

• Building an established winner takes more than winning one game in an established building.

"I'm building a program, not trying to win a district semifinal at any cost," he said.

• Lessons learned today pay dividends later.

"Nobody who goes through this program again will ever do it (slack off
on studies), because they all know they can't survive if they do," he said.

Sullinger stressed that his program is about fairness, character and accountability.

Strong. Admirable. Courageous. And a great example. You can read the full story here: Tough love drives home hard lesson at Northland

john maxwell helps the buckeyes

I read this in the Sunday edition of the Canton Repository:

John Maxwell, an expert on leadership skills, has written plenty of books to help others develop those qualities. A few years back, OSU Head Coach Jim Tressel used one of his books as a summer reading project for his team. This past summer, Tressel and his players read “Talent is Never Enough.” Tressel asked Maxwell to speak to all the school’s teams. He offered three general principles:

• The significance of one: The No. 1 is truly too small, and no one has ever accomplished something great alone.
• Dreams are free: Dream anything you want to dream, but the journey is not.
• Make good choices: Make decisions that support your dreams. Don’t overestimate decision making and underestimate decision management.

Maxwell also rode the team bus from Columbus to Ann Arbor for the Michigan game.

what volunteers want (part two of two)

At my mentoring meeting Tuesday Alton told me that there's basically three things he's looking for when he volunteers for any organization:

1. It better be well-organized.
2. I want to know exactly why I'm there.
3. I want to feel like we're achieving something.

So I'm doing a mental inventory of all the volunteers positions I lead and asking myself: Are these true for the volunteers I lead?

Are there other things that need added to that list? What are your thoughts?

what volunteers want (part one of two)

In my meeting with my mentor yesterday, we got onto the subject of volunteers. I told him that now that I'm in the church world it's a greater test of my leadership abilities because I lead a lot of volunteers. I told him that I feel leading volunteers is more difficult than leading "employees" because they don't 'have to' be there--they're not working for a pay check.

He pushed back and argued that it may be easier to lead a volunteer than an employee because, in his opinion, employees these days aren't committed to the cause. They generally don't care about the company they work for...it's just a job. "Let me do the minimum amount of work, collect my check, go home, and not worry about it any more. He said volunteers, on the other hand, are at least committed to the cause. They see the vision. They're there because they want to be there.

I still don't know if one is more difficult than the other. It's just tough work to lead...period. My challenge is to recruit, train, cast vision for, and multiply volunteers. It's an interesting discussion. We concluded that we each have unique challenges but at the same time there are parallels. In the end, we're both trying to motivate and mobilize people to own the vision and perform at a high level.

Feel free to weigh in. I'm interested in your thoughts.

catalyst review::craig groeschel

Still reviewing Catalyst speakers. Yes, there were many. Today: Craig Groeschel. I'm a big Groeschel guy. His ministry has influenced me quite a bit. Remember the Miracles series at NewPointe? Groeschel. Boy-o-boy did he deliver the goods at Catalyst. Here are some of my notes:

Craig talked about being a practical atheist. Here's how he defined it: A practical atheist is someone who believes that God exists but lives as though he doesn't.

• We believe that God exists but we do ministry as though he doesn't.

The Lord says: "These people come near to me with their mouth and honor me with their lips, but their hearts are far from me.

• Question to ask myself: is the way I'm doing the work of the God destroying the work of God in me?
• Groeschel: I had become a full-time pastor and a part-time follower of Christ.

We become practical atheists when we start to believe:

• Our effort is better than God's power.
• Our private life doesn't affect our public ministry.
• We must please people more than we must please God.

He said he used to find himself asking, "What can I preach that will bring people in?" rather than, "What can I preach that will bring glory to God?"

• We have a tendency to start with culture and then bring God's Word into it rather than starting with God's Word and bring it into the culture.
• Groeschel: I would lead people to Christ but I wasn't letting Christ lead me.

He closed by referencing a powerful prayer by Sir Francis Drake. Do yourself a favor and link to it here.

catalyst review::john maxwell

Maxwell is America's leadership guru. I've heard this stuff from him before but it's always good and...always right on. Here are some of my notes:

• Intentionally add value to people every day. You're either adding value to people or you're subtracting.
• The best way to make a difference for God is by helping people.
• Find your greatest strength and focus on it.
• The greatest sin of a leader: putting yourself first. Don't worry about the reaping, just sow.
• If we're going to add value to people we must do it intentionally.

Four says to add value to people:

1. If you want to add value to people, you have to value people.
2. Make yourself more valuable.
3. You must know and relate to what other people value.
4. Do the things that God values.

catalyst review::rick warren

I really like Rick Warren. I heard this particular talk a couple years ago at the Leadership Summit but it's worth hearing more than once. He talked about some of the biggest problems the world faces, specifically spiritual emptiness and corrupt leadership. Here are some of my notes:

• If you want God's blessing on your life then you have to get with God's agenda. Stop praying, "God bless me," and start praying, "God, help me to get on board with what you're already blessing."
• Where is the kingdom of God? Wherever Jesus is king. What is the kingdom of God? God's people fulfilling God's purpose on God's planet for God's glory.
• God's agenda is the church...it's not anything else...it's the church.
• Don't ever put down the church--it is the bride of Christ. God wants you to love the "real" church, not the "ideal" church. Then he wants you to serve in it.
• 500 years ago we had a reformation in the church. It's time for another one. The first reformation was about creeds. This one need to be about deeds.
• You were made to be loved by God...it's the reason you're here. God wanted you here. There is no such thing as illegitimate children...there are illegitimate parents but not illegitimate children.
• Stop trying to change culture...create culture. You are most like God when you are creating.
• God asked Moses: What's in your hand? (Whenever God asks a question it's never for his benefit...whenever God does a miracle it is not to show off--it's always to teach a truth.)
• Moses' staff represented three things: His identity, his income, and his influence.
• After Moses surrendered, it was never again referred to as his staff. It became the rod of God.
• What's in your hand? Talent. Background. Education. Personality. Wealth. Network.
• God's going to have two questions for us: What did you do with my Son Jesus Christ? And What did you do with what I gave you?
• Some people would rather be cool than effective. I dare you to pray the most dangerous prayer: Use me!

catalyst review::francis chan

Francis brought some serious passion to Catalyst. It was the first time I've heard him speak in person. Strong. The big takeaway for me was this: I need to call people to the same commitment that Christ called people to. Here are a few of my notes:

• I'm constantly fighting to make this ministry thing NOT a job.

The word of the LORD came to me, saying, "Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart; I appointed you as a prophet to the nations." Jeremiah 1:4-5

• Do you really believe that or are you just running a church?

"Get yourself ready! Stand up and say to them whatever I command you. Do not be terrified by them, or I will terrify you before them. Jeremiah 1:17

• Say exactly what God has called you to say to whom he's called you to say it.
• God has called us to give people what they need, based on his Word, regardless of whether they stick around or not.
• Jesus led, few followed, but he kept leading.

catalyst review::patrick lencioni

Lencioni spoke in the second session. He struggled with his presentation but his content, if you could navigate it, was solid. Here are some of my notes:

The three signs of a miserable job:

• Anonymity. People cannot be fulfilled in their work if they are not known. All human beings need to be understood and appreciated for their unique qualities by someone in a position of authority.
• Irrelevance. Everyone needs to know that their job matters to someone. Without seeing a connection between the work and the satisfaction of another person or group of people, an employee simply will not find lasting fulfillment.
• Immeasurement. Employees need to be able to gauge their progress and level of contribution for themselves. They cannot be fulfilled in their work if their success depends on the opinions or whims of another person.

He also said that when we manage somebody we are ministering to them. Management is ministry.

I try to put this information in the context of volunteers. I think all three signs apply to volunteer staff as well as paid staff. Your thoughts?

catalyst review::andy stanley

Andy was the speaker in the first session. His talk: The Most Powerful Man in the Room. His text: John 13.

Key thoughts:

• If you're in leadership, you have power. Don't shy away from it, figure out how to leverage it for God.
• What do you do when it dawns on you that you are most powerful person in the room? This is the moment in the life of leader that makes us or breaks us.
• In John 13, the disciples were stunned by Jesus' humility. Question to ask ourselves: When's the last time that the people I lead were stunned by my humility?
• When it dawns on you...your response should be to humble yourself and serve. Leverage your power for the sake of other people.
• What do you do? You look for ways to leverage that power for the sake of other people in the room.
• This principle is what allows you to have lasting impact and influence.
• If I don't do this...I'm making a declaration that I am greater than my Master.
• The leader that can be trusted with power is the leader who is willing to surrender that power.
• The legacy of your leadership will be defined by you declaring day after day: I'm not greater than my Master.

catalyst remix

I'm back from the 2007 Catalyst Conference in Atlanta, GA. I had high expectations and they were met. Great conference, great lineup, as usual. Here's a pic of the view we had from our seats:

Here are a few of the highlights:

• Free T-shirts (yay!)
• Craig Groeshel's talk (Practical Atheist). One of the best ever. I'll blog more about this one later.
• Bumping into old friends.
• The music. LOUDEST worship experience I've ever been a part of.
• Hanging out with people I love to hang out with.
• Dave Ramsey's talk (and the video he showed at the end...awesome).
• Eating at Moe's.
• Being challenged and inspired. Rick Warren makes me want to do something great for God. Francis Chan makes me want to charge hell with a water pistol. Craig Groeshel disturbs me (in a good way). Dave Ramsey makes me want to give more. Andy Stanley makes me want to be a better leader. Erwin McManus makes me want to be a better preacher. John Maxwell makes me want to treat people better. I could go on...

More on Catalyst to come.

catalyst 2007

I'm heading to Atlanta very early (like 4:00 a.m.) Thursday to attend the Catalyst Conference. If you've ever been, you know how incredible it is. If you haven't been...check out this video. It'll give you a glimpse of what being a catalyst leader is all about.



I'm stoked. I'll be blogging about what I learn at Catalyst. Stay tuned.

the man i want to be vs. getting things done

The Group Life team at NewPointe meets once a month for what we call a "power lunch." We usually take this time for leadership development and growth. Yesterday we got together to watch Andy Stanley on DVD. His talk was from the 2003 Catalyst Conference. It was on character. Amazing talk. Here are some of the notes I took:

• There is a constant struggle in me between the man I want to be (the character I want to have) and getting things done.
• The most direct path to success is generally not the most ethical one (this made me think of Bill Belichick).
• The most direct path to maintain success as a leader is not the most ethical one either (made me think of athletes using steroids).
• To be a leader worth following, we must pre-decide to prioritize our integrity over our quest for progress. (See Daniel 1:8)
• You cannot maintain the blessings of God if you choose to violate the principles of God. (Made me examine my own life and my own character flaws.)
• Prayer to pray every day: God give me the wisdom to know what's right, give me the courage to do what's right, even when it's hard.

I'm going to the 2007 Catalyst Conference in about two weeks. Can't wait.

oxygen

Last week I golfed with a friend who told me he hasn't golfed in about five years. He said that when he was asked to come along, his first reaction was: I'd like to, but I'm too busy. Then he told me that as he thought it through, he realized that he could come up with a thousand reasons not to golf. But he had one really good reason to say yes: doing something he enjoys with people he enjoys. So he decided to golf with us. I'm glad he did.

It reminded me of how easy it can be to say "no" to things that don't seem productive.

I received some good advice from a leader I respect. He told me that it's immensely important to actually DO the things that revive you and give you energy. This doesn't mean "wasting" time on mindless junk...it means that we all have stuff that we really enjoy doing and it actually gives us energy. This leader compared it to oxygen, indicating that if you don't have enough of it in your life, you're actually not going to be as productive as you could/should be.

He told me to make a list of 20 things I love to do and then look over the list and take note of how often I'm participating in those activities. He asked, "Are your oxygen tanks full or dangerously low?"

Too often...they are low. So I made the list. I won't bore you with all of it...so how 'bout 10 of them?

Here's my list of ten:

1. Yes, golf. Duh.
2. Ride my motorcycle (which is cool because I can ride it to work, thus accomplishing two things at once).
3. Just hanging out with my family.
4. Getting away...I mean AWAY...with my family.
5. Reading.
6. Movies.
7. Coaching my kids in sports.
8. Hanging out with friends.
9. Basketball.
10. Roller coasters.

As you can see, my list is heavy on summer-time activities. So my oxygen tanks are most likely to get low during the winter. I have to watch this stuff. I can be like my golf-buddy who can always find reasons to NOT engage in many of these activities.

Do you have a list? Leave a comment and share it. If you don't have one, make one and share it here. I'd love to know the things that energize YOU!

defining your calling

Last winter I read Leading With A Limp by Dan Allender. Strong. In chapter 10 he asks the question: What words best describe a leader? He says the list you create will shape both what you do and what you will become. Here is a list of words mentioned by leaders when they were asked, "What is the single best word to describe you as leader.": hero, sage, seer, hearer, mouthpiece, fund-raiser, coach, catalyst, optimist, truth-teller, surgeon, consultant, midwife, shepherd, visionary, CEO, general, parent, friend

He thought the list was fine...but he says none of the leaders offered the words he hopes we will consider:

• broken


• foolish
  
• reluctant


• hungry
  
• disillusioned

He points out that the words in the first list are all nouns--solid and understandable. The words he asks us to consider are adjectives--fluid and foreign.

He says a leader might be a fund-raiser or a field general, but what type of leader is she? Is she foolish, broken, reluctant? Nouns describe objective roles, parts to play, scripts to follow. Adjectives are more amorphous and qualitative, describing how we put our unique mark on an unexpected role. He says that both nouns and adjectives are necessary.

His point? We need to consider not only what is expected of us as leaders but also how we lead.

stuff i'm learning about life from coaching softball

I coach my 12-year-old daughter's fastpitch softball team. Every game, I talk to the kids about doing these three things:

1. play the game the right way
2. be good sports
3. have fun

I tell the kids that if we do those three things consistently, the results will take care of themselves.

What if we took a similar approach to life?

1. play the game the right way (live a life of integrity)
2. be good sports (treat others the way you want to be treated)
3. have fun (don't take yourself so seriously)

If, in our daily lives, we practiced those things every day, perhaps life's results would take care of themselves.

After our softball games, we don't evaluate based on whether we won or lost. We evaluate on how well we did each of those three things. If we nail them...then I'm happy.

Another thing I do with the kids is this: I have one of the moms keep a list for me of the good things that each player does during the game...and it's not all related to performance on the field (it could be encouraging a teammate or displaying good sportsmanship). At the end of the game, I get the list from the mom and have the team gather 'round me. I go down the list and highlight at least one good thing that each player did during the game. We clap and cheer and hoot and holler for each girl as their name is called.

Is there a life-lesson there? I think so. And I think it's obvious. It's called: catch people doing something good and celebrate it. You can do it with your kids, with your spouse, with co-workers, even your boss!

I admit that I'm not the world's greatest softball coach. But if I don't do anything else, I want to build into the kids I coach. I want them to gain confidence and learn to have a positive approach to life.

If that happens, I'll consider it a success.

If we all live it out, the world would be a better place.

stats and thoughts from graham cooke...

I read this book by Graham Cooke a couple of months ago. I've kept it on my desk because it's amazingly quotable. I reread this today. Check it out...

• • 60% of all pastors quit leading churches
  • 50% of people leaving the ministry do so because of immorality
  • another 30% leave because of stress

  Behind most of these statistics is a rundown devotional life. When we lose our focus on God, we end up with a working relationship but a lousy friendship with Him. The only way a lot of ministers relate to God is on the basis of what they do for Him. Everything is businesslike when people have lost their devotional lives. They end up praying about ministry--the youth group, Sunday School, finances and so on--and activity rather than the joy of friendship with the Father consumes them.

  I wonder how many of us have upgraded our abilities to praise and thank God in the past 12 months. We need to praise and thank God more this year than we did last year.

Graham Cooke, The Language of Love

confessions of a mega-church pastor

Here's a video blog from Ed Young. We learn a lot and get some cool ideas from Ed's church. In this video he shares raw, honest thougths about being a pastor and the demands and challenges that come with it. Check it out.

Credit where credit's due: I first found this video here.

"i'll pray for you..."

One of my faithful blog readers sent me this cartoon:






















Funny...but at the same time it carries with it a dose of reality. Have you ever done that? Okay, okay, I confess. I've done it.

Here's why this happens: if you're like me, you have people who sometimes--or in my case, often times--ask you to pray for them. And you, like me, fully intend to pray for them. But what happens? We just flat-out forget sometimes don't we?

Have you ever told someone you've prayed for them when you really haven't? I confess, I've done that. Maybe most pastors wouldn't admit that...but I'm just trying to keep it real.

I'm fully aware that I can screw this "Hey, I'll be praying for you," thing up. And I don't wanna screw it up. So I sincerely strive to be faithful to the promises I make when I tell someone I'll pray for them.

But how can we be sure to honor the commitments we make to others that we're going to pray for them?

Outside of carrying a notebook everywhere and writing everything down, here's something you can do:

When someone asks you to pray for them, pray for them right there--on the spot. I do this. I don't care where we are--in the lobby at church, in the restroom, at a restaurant, on the golf course--I just ask them right then and there if I can pray for that right now.

Sometimes I'll even tell them, "Hey, I don't want to forget to pray for that, so lets pray about it right now."

I get phone calls at the office and at home with people asking me to pray for them. Know what I do? I pray for them right then...on the phone.

I've never had anyone tell me, "No, right now's not a good time." On the contrary, they always appreciate it. The prayer is almost always followed by a hug because they're so grateful that I took their request serious enough to pray for it on the spot. It also builds their faith when they actually hear your prayer rather than hearing a mere, "Okay, I'll be praying for that."

So don't ever miss an opportunity to pray for someone. It'll bless them...and it'll bless you.

unleash conference: general session two

Here are some of my notes from the second general session of the Unleash Conference at NewSpring Church in Anderson, SC.

Perry Noble, senior pastor, spoke on "The Leadership Challenge."

"Myth: growing a church is all about style." Wrong...if a church grows, godly leadership is in place (and you'll find no exceptions).

Leadership Principles we learn from Moses:

1. Moses simply listened and obeyed.

"Leadership is as easy as listening to God."

"Time with God is the most important thing I do. Period."

"In Scripture, God never gave the vision to a committee. Your pastor is accountable to God." (Heb. 13:17)

"A personnel committee in a church? That's of Satan."

2. Moses didn't compromise the vision.

"Powerful people in your church will always try to alter your vision."

"As a pastor, I can't please everyone. I'd rather offend the people in the church seats than offend God (who gave us our vision). "

"We always talk about closing the 'back door' of a church. If the church is a body...then you need a back door. Maybe the problem with many churches today is that they're constipated."

"God will test every senior pastor with people who have money. What will be revealed is whether the pastor is a prostitute or a prophet."

3. Moses didn't try to do it all. (Numbers 11:14-17)

"Surround yourself with godly people.

"The best place to find people to staff your church is with the people already in your church--they own the vision." personal note: unless, of course, Tony Morgan is available (I guess there are exceptions to every rule).

4. Moses was willing to attempt the impossible.

"One of our biggest mistakes: we want a vision that's safe."

"What are you asking God for that's big?"

"If it's God's will, it's God's bill." (God isn't limited by a lack of $$$). "Don't use lack of money or resources as an excuse." Deut. 6:10-12

"Ask God for big things!" This means not asking for stuff that are my big things...he's talking about the things God lays on your heart.

If you're interested in the notes from the breakout sessions at Unleash, click here.